


I Think I Wanna Be More Than Friends

by wordyanansi



Series: Bellarke Fic Week - July 2015 [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellarke, Bellarke Fic Week, Canon Compliant, Canon Divergent, F/M, probably makes everything that happened after this even more heartbreaking, season one, set between the smokehouse fire and the hunting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 15:34:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4397396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordyanansi/pseuds/wordyanansi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The smokehouse has burned down, and there's no food. They need to go hunting, but they'll go tomorrow, giving them a full day.</p><p> </p><p>This oneshot takes place that evening, when the burden of leadership is hard, and Belamy and Clarke are starting work out how they kind of want to be more than just co-leaders and friends...</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Think I Wanna Be More Than Friends

Ever since Monroe figured out how to use her Earth Skills to light a fire, every night has seemed like a party.

 

During the day there is hunting, gathering, building, and just trying to do the basic things that need to get done for everyone to survive. Clarke lives in medical, to the point that she’s not sure she even has a tent anymore, or where the hell she left it. Bellamy’s tent, on the other hand doubles as a revolving door for his harem and a strategy room for this weird council they seemed to have developed over the past ten days. Regardless, it seems like everyone has figured out that they are in charge, and there is nowhere to hide, and no privacy.

 

On the Ark, there weren’t as many skinned knees or stab wounds, or rashes from rolling around naked in poison ivy. It was mainly burns and oxygen deprivation symptoms. She feels out of her depth constantly, but she doesn’t know what else to do except pretend she’s got it covered. Because everyone seems to believe she can keep them together. So she pretends that everything is going to be fine. That they’re going to make it work. Clarke finds she has developed a certain trust  in these people, people that she would never have known in space. She trusts Bellamy to rally the troops, organise people into work groups, and set about actually getting things done. She trusts Monty and Raven to find new ways for them to survive, to join forces and come with irrigation, garden planning, and weapons. She trusts Miller to keep the guards in line, and Finn to scout the area for further resources. She trusts Octavia and Lincoln to share the information that needs to be shared. But she’s learning that having trust is easier than having faith and thanks to Del and his arrogant stupidity, she was less sure that they were actually going to survive.

 

Everyone has gathered around the bonfire after an unsatisfying dinner of onions and nuts, the edge of which had been taken off by Monty and Jasper’s moonshine. But Clarke can’t be there with these people right now. She can’t be where they’re all looking to her to tell them that it’s going to be okay. Bellamy’s right, there are Grounders at their goddamned door and come morning they’re going to have to all go out hunting. Which is only going to lead to more injuries and problems, because they haven’t yet learned how not to stab themselves with their own goddamned spears. She’s… well. She tries to count the days in her head and if she isn’t already eighteen, she’s very close to it,  and she has the weight of these lives on her shoulders, and she’s looking at the remains of the smokehouse feeling hopeless.

 

“We’re going hunting tomorrow,” Bellamy says, and she starts, not having heard him approach.

“With the whole Grounder army out there?” Clarke replies, tired, quoting him back to himself. He sighs.

“You were right,” he tells her softly. And there is something in his voice, that makes her want to cry, but she won’t.

“So were you. It’s dangerous,” she offers. She turns to look at him, and the expression on his face mirrors her own.

“It’s not easy, being in charge,” he relles her, and there is a ghost of a smile on his lips, and she returns it with one of her own.

“I’m really… I’m glad we’re working together now. Friends, I mean,” Clarke tells him, and it’s true. She feels so alone down here, even though she’s ever been so connected to a community. Bellamy frowns and looks away.

“Right,” he agrees. “Friends.” He sounds perturbed by the term, but he doesn’t  go away, just stands there staring at the ruins of their best shot at survival.

“I’m going out with the hunting parties tomorrow,” she offers. His hand flies out to grip her wrist.

“Like hell you are,” he grinds out. “It’s too dangerous.”

“Bellamy, we need to finish getting the wall built, and we need a team working on the bullets. And you said it yourself, I’m not a bad shot. And I know how to navigate using a map. I’ll be more useful out there,” Clarke rationalises. Bellamy shakes his head.

“No. It’s too dangerous, Clarke,” he says, and she pulls her arm out of his grip, glaring at him.

“I am not your sister or your daughter, Bellamy, and you’d send our people out there to risk their lives, and you aren’t prepared to let me do the same?” Clarke demands. “I know you need to stay here and supervise construction and defense, but I don’t have to be here.”

“Were you not listening earlier when we were talking about the entire Grounder army on our doorstep?” he bites back at her. “You can’t go!” Clarke shakes her head.

“You’ve got the night to adapt to the idea, Bellamy. Because I’m going, and you’re not changing my mind,” Clarke replies archly, trying to keep her voice down. She glances over her shoulder and notices that there are a few kids who have drifted from the fire, just close enough to hear them arguing, and she sighs. Bellamy’s jaw is tight, and he looks like he wants to argue further, but when he follows her line of sight, he sighs as well, as the kids scamper away.

“They call us ‘mum’ and ‘dad’, you know,” Bellamy tells her quietly. “They think they’re being realy sly about it too, but they’re not.” Clarke presses her lips together in almost a smile.

“I keep calling them ‘the kids’ in my head,” she confesses, and is rewarded with an amused smile.

“What about me, am I one your kids?” Bellamy asks, teasing her gently, and Clarke shakes her head.

“No, you’re... ,” Clarke struggles to find the right word to describe Bellamy. She shrugs. “I guess they’re right, you’re the dad to my mom.”

“Well, being mom and dad usually comes with some conjugal privileges,” Bellamy replies, and if Clarke didn’t know any better, she’d say he was flirting. She’s reminded of Unity Day, the way they’ve always stood apart together, the way she trusts him to take care of everyone if she’s had a couple of drinks. She can’t think of another person down here she’d trust like that. And then she remembers the harem.

“Nice try, Romeo,” she tells him. “Need a blonde to add to your collection?” She means it as a joke, and she’s sure her tone conveyed that, but Bellamy takes a step back as if she’s physically hit him. “It was a joke,” she tries to reassure him, but he’s still frowning.

“I don’t, uh… I don’t do that anymore,” Bellamy tells her. “You were right, it shouldn’t be whatever the hell we want. Actions have consequences, and every life is important.” Clarke smiles at him.

“You’re a good man, Bellamy Blake,” Clarke says gently. Bellamy steps forward and rests his hand on her cheek. There is a pregnant pause, and she can see it in his eyes that he’s asking permission. She says nothing, and lets him lower his lips to hers. She has no intention of ending up in his bed tonight, still bruised from Finn, still scared for her life, for all their lives, but she’s going to let herself have this moment. It’s worth it. Chapped lips and heat and her body aches for his touch, to feel this, and she makes a small noise of contentment that encourages him to explore her further. His hands caress her sides, and press her closer against him, and she loses herself in the moment. But it’s just a moment, and moments are not forever. So she pulls back, and he’s looking at her with desire (she’s seen desire before) and something else.

“I kind of want to be more than friends,” Bellamy tells her softly. Clarke considers him for a moment. “I’m over playing pretend that all I want is to be co-leaders, and I’m sure you’re going to chew me up and spit me out eventually. Because you’re just… a force of nature. But I’m pretty sure you’re worth it.” Clarke smiles up at him, still in his arms.

“I’m still going out hunting tomorrow,” Clarke says softly, and Bellamy’s arms stiffen around her. “And I’m not sure I… I’m sure you know about the thing with Finn,” she adds.

“Fucking Spacewalker,” Bellamy mutters. There is a pause, and then he adds: “But he does have excellent taste in women.” Clarke laughs, because it’s true, and funny, and if Raven had been any less amazing she would have felt not quite so bad about what had happened.

“Do you want a quick fuck or do you want this to be something else?” Clarke asks, direct, because she’s always direct. And it makes a difference.

“Something else. Longer term. Potentially,” Bellamy replies, and Clarke wonders if this is the first time he’s ever had to have this conversation with someone. She sighs.

“If it wasn’t for…,” Clarke says, gesturing in the direction of the ninety-odd teenagers gathered around the campfire laughing. And she’s pretty sure Jasper’s doing some weird dance comedy routine. “If we were just one of them…” Bellamy nods, sadly, understanding her.

“I get it. I do. I just… It was worth a shot,” Bellamy tells her, letting go of her. Clarke chews her lip for a moment as he turns and walks away.

“Wait!” she calls out, and he stops and looks back at her. “It’s not a ‘no’.” Bellamy smiles hesitantly.

“You’re saying you need more time. And they need more time,” Bellamy replies, indicating the kids, the majority of whom are now dancing in a circular motion around the campfire. Clarke nods.

“You’re… yeah. I’m not asking you to wait for me. I’m just saying I can’t right now,” she clarifies, and Bellamy nods, smiles, and heads back to the campfire. Clarke knows she’s not ready yet, but the thought of ‘someday’ with Bellamy gives something that feels like faith that they’re actually going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [tumblr](http://wordy-anansi.tumblr.com)


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